Official Wood Shop Mike Guacamole

What?! A post about food? What do guacamole and wood working have in common? Admittedly, not much at all, but we’ve all gotta eat and this is a tasty treat that’s pretty good for you too!

Without realizing that it was the eve of Cinco de Mayo I had a craving for guacamole so while at the grocery store, my wife and I picked up the essentials.

4 hass avocados
2 limes
1/4 yellow onion
1 jalapeno (I wanted my lady to be able to eat some, so only 1 pepper)
1 medium tomato
1 clove of garlic (1/2 tsp minced garlic)
salt to taste

Start with the most fun step. Cutting up those avocados! Place the avocado on the cutting board and “roll” the knife around the fruit until you reach the beginning incision. Grasp each half and twist the two end apart like you’re opening up an Oreo. yummmm Oreos… Ok now the dangerous part! If you have no coordination, get a spoon! I will not pay for your hospital bill! Hold the avocado half that the seed is embedded into and grab your knife. Lift the knife above you head and… just kidding. Holding the knife an inch or two above the seed, snap the blade into the seed and twist the seed loose from the avocado’s flesh.

Once the seed is out, cross hatch the flesh with you knife and scoop out the meat into your bowl. Oh yeah, go get a bowl for your guacamole!

The rest of the recipe should be self explanatory, but don’t think I’m just gonna leave you like that. Slice off the top of the tomato and then cube the remaining flesh.

Brace yourself and attain whatever eye protection is needed. It’s time to tell that onion who’s boss. I only used a 1/4 onion in my recipe, but feel free to use as much as you’d like. Peel the onion and cut in half along the pith.

Then cut the onion in a fanned patter, think bloomin’ onion. I find it easiest to cut one half and then turn it around so that I’m always cutting this fanned pattern from the right side (I’m right handed, might be easier inversed for you lefties).

Now you just need to make your dicing cuts and in the bowl it goes!

On to Jose Jalapeno! We’re gonna turn his butt into guacamole! First a quick death, decapitation! Then slice down the middle and core out the insides. A bit gruesome huh?

I then slice it up into thin slivers and dice the pepper as to “redistribute the wealth.”

If you can’t tell, I like lime. Use less if you’re not a big lime fan. I wouldn’t cut it out all together though, as the avocado meat absorbs and diminishes the lime’s flavor. Also, the citrus from the lime helps the guacamole keep a bit longer. Anyways, roll the limes against the counter pressing firmly down on them. This breaks up the lime and makes juicing the fruit quicker. If you have a citrus juicer, use it. If not, stick a fork into the lime and twist until your efforts are futile. Also, don’t stab yourself. It will sting more than normal with lime juice all over your hand! Just a friendly heads up.

Add a clove of garlic and however much salt you want and your good to go! I use a fork to mash up the avocado meat and mix everything together. Grab the chips and chow down!

I toss the avocado seeds back into the bowl. Aside from giving you an obstacle to eat around, they also help to keep the gauc fresh a bit longer! Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Lemme know how you like the recipe! Also, don’t be a stranger. Let’s hear your favorite guac, salsa, or other dip recipes!

Official Wood Shop Mike Guacamole

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